10:55 - 14.11.2007
3rd entry 2day, as i try to avoid reality

bulimic for a day! the cureall for celebrity blues! let the fake bulimics actually experience the real mia, mia as i know her, for a day! eating a cookie and throwing it up doesn't make you bulimic, dumbfucks! try eating a whole bag of cookies. try screaming and crying and poisoning yourself. having dreams that the scars on your arms open up again and gush forth fresh blood. yeah, yeah, yeah. become everything you hate!

sigh...got to stop glancing at tabloid covers. and all their fakebulimic headlines. put me in a magazine. show them what mia is really like. ugly. cruel. fataliscious.

oh, i had a dream that i threw my arms around the newguy at work and practically crushed him in my python embrace. kissed him. because he showed up to work instead of quitting. he said he loved me and stuff. dreams are so surreal. like fucking the meatcutter. things that are totally unlikely to happen; and you're glad that they can't actually take place! to avoid disappointment, i imagine everyday that i'll go in and find out that newguy quit; be stuck by myself again. that way, the day he doesn't show up, at least i won't be disappointed.