11:36 - 12.11.2007
kmfdm will neverstop

feel like shit. binge last night. don't think the lax are working like they should have. couldn't throw up. decided to get superdrunk today. let my fiance come home and wonder what the fuck happened to me. and lighting matches solely for the purpose of amusing myself. see how long each one burns. so far only one has burnt down the stick. disappointing. not quite dumb enough enough to light the matches near the alcohol, though.

and listening to kmfdm. adios at the moment. it's going to take me a long fucking time to get drunk. sigh...2 drinks technically puts me over the legal bac, but if i want to get shitfaced, i'll have to down a couple liters of wine and half a bottle of vodka and have a couple beers besides. funny how that works.

ignited another matchstick. if i'm lucky, i'll burnt my fingertips off. nailpolish is extremely flameable. and i happening to have colored my own nails bright purple last night. trying to cheer myself up.

i could be the matchstick girl in that christmas story. but not really. not homeless. not starving to death. not a girl. just some dumbfuck playing with matches.

i want to runaway to germany. figure things out. leave mia far behind. found an (anti) ed sight in german last night while looking for images for my collages. pretty cool.