12:28 - 20.10.2007
the dream

how to produce rainbow-colored vomit (and yes, it even has stripes!): binge on vegetables of assorted hues; puke it up.

my rainbow was filled with white dots. laxatives. i think i have a stockpile of pills in my stomach. seriously.

my brain is trying to fight mia, at least. it begs me not to pop pills, and i�ve starting gagging everytime i swallow them. and then, after a couple hours, i end up vomiting, and a shitload of pills comes up. i think i need to stop abusing laxatives before i kill myself.

wish it were so easy to just quit, you know. like to say i�m gonna do it this time, for real, but i know my chances are slim.

but i�ll try to try. overate at breakfast. well, fine; i can probably just work it off throughout the day. just won�t eat anything else. forgiveness, right?

i had a dream. and it was in color. not a dream about action or events�just about color. a monochromatic, purple dream. strange. i know that this is also a sign that i need to kick mia out.

try a little magick, maybe? it�s hard when my energy is so out of whack from being so sick. i tried before, and failed. probably because i failed in my mundane reality, too. i just gave in. spells don�t work if you just leave it at that. you have to try. i�ll write my own this time. take my time; make sure everything is ready.

goodbye, mia. go bother someone else. i am SOOOO through with you.

GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!