22:19 - 16.09.2007
dead; unburied

my dad cornered me this morning. for 85 words, he claimed. i got a long lecture about why he wants me to quit taking laxatives. as though it�s so simple! reason #1: he doesn�t want me to get sick�am i not already quite ill? reason #2: he doesn�t want me to die. newsflash: i just happened to die last night.

briefly, albeit. sometime while i was asleep, my soul parted from my body. i know that it wasn�t a dream because i felt myself exiting, and it kind of hurt. like i was being slowly torn in two. a voice told me it was time to come. i went right along into the darkness after it. and no�there was no bright light like people always associate with death. it was quite dark. maybe because it was the middle of the night. anyway. i left. dead. gone. felt it. and then i stopped. i demanded that the voice put me back in my body. it wanted to know why. i told it that i didn�t want to be found dead and bulimic in my bed. that wasn�t a sufficient reason. so i said that i was afraid of what would happen to me when i died. no good. then one word came to me: my fianc�s name.

the voice put me back. i felt myself stuffed back inside the flesh. presently, i awakened, feeling scrambled-up and dazed. it took me awhile to figure out where i was and what had happened.

then, being that the laxatives had kicked in, i got up and staggered to the bathroom, still feeling ethereal. i guess my body just gave up on me.