22:23 - 13.09.2007
another sunny afternoon?

yesterday. my best friend begging me to go to the hospital. because i couldn't stand up without feeling like i was going to faint. my fiance promising to leave work and take me to an urgent care if i felt any worse. felt worse. called. no answer. threw up food i'd eaten 24 hours ago. can't be a good sign.

yesterday. crawled into work. nearly asked the manager 3 times if i could go home early. stuck it out. slowly. tendons (or something) in my hands and feel kept seizing up, rendering the aforementioned body parts immobile for seconds at a time, though it felt like an enternity. 4 times, while i was shoveling ice out of the seafood case, my middle finger on my right hand slipped beneath my index finger and locked up in such a way. made it look like my hand had been horribly mutilated.

yesterday. my fiance, who was supposed to come visit me at work between 7 and 8 to make sure i was still alive, showed up at 10 past 9, while i was staring at boxes of crackers and trying to figure out something i could eat to settle my stomach and give me a little energy. told me that my hands felt like ice but my forehead was bruning up. we concluded that i actually did have a fever, and it wasn't just plain laxative poisoning.

today. realizing how dehydrated and out of whack i am. still got whatever bug gave me the fever, though not quite as bad. trying to get over that. trying not to be bulimic. juice and soup and crackers. went overboard on the crackers. but only eating half a bos is progress, sadly. trying to convince myself that i'll be fine; that taking 90 laxatives is not in my best interest just now.

today. not sure what will happen tomorrow.