13:53 - 13.03.2007
retroaKtive

ever binge on steamed vegetables? that sounds oooooo fucking stupid, even to me. but i did it. in a sense, i hate myself for bingeing. but on the other hand, that was an extremely low-calories binge. i did not feel so fat afterwards, and quite feasibley, i did purge it all.

today is another day to try not to fail. to be glad that i am on spring break. to be trapped inside the house, waiting for my boyfriend to call or for it to be time to go to work, whichever comes first. to try not to eat much.

i'm shopping for cigarettes, which makes me happy. the price of kreteks is climbing, though, just like the price of regular ones. it used to be that a pack of djarum coklats came out to just under $2.00. now it seems to be around $2.23. i'm still hunting for the lowest cost, though. six slofs. my boyfriend thinks that he is getting three of them automatically, but i will not give him any unless he pays me first. last time, i bought three slofs since it was just for me. he promised to pay me $20 for an entire slof that i gave him. i made the mistake of forking over the djarums before he paid me, and i never saw the money. i also gave him a couple other packs, out of the sheer goodness (stupidity?) of my heart. not this time. i won't be fucked over again, not when i'm working a lousy, part-time minimum wage job. it's not that i resent him; it's just that i'm tired of him never returning the money he borrows from me. if i include $20 for the cigarettes, thus far, he has borrowed/taken well over $200 from me without, apparently, giving it a thought. we have been dating for less than eight months. this includes one time when we ate out in a restaurant (because he wanted to). he suggested that when we went to pay that i put the bill on my debit card and he would give me the cash for his meal. this was a bit shocking; i had assumed that he was paying my way as well. i shrugged it off and agreed; my food had cost less than $3, afterall. the total bill was slightly over twelve. i paid and took his money without counting it. then when i went to put it in my wallet later, i noticed that he had only given me $6. plus the $3 from my food, that is only $9. the other $3? his drink, of course, and tax. okay, okay, i could handle the tax, but he really should have paid for his own drink. it only bothered me slightly, but now it really annoys me, as, when i told my brother about it, he became most enraged and was threatening to go beat my boyfriend into a pulp.

brothers are like that.